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You WereYou were my reason to laugh
My reason to cry
You were my reason to smile
My reason to lie

You were my reason
To be comfertable within my own skin
You were The reason
I'm starving myself thin

You were the reason i was happy
The reason why i was sad
the reason why i joked
the reason why i faught

you were the reason why i loved
You were the reason why i hurt
the reason why the pain i feel
Is deep within my heart
The reason why I let you in
the reason why I pushed you away
The reason why i trust no one
yet everyone at the same time

Yes I still love you
Yes I still care
But i'm not going through this pain again
it just isn't
UnspokenThere's so much
i want to express
i cannot think straight
so much pain,
so much anguish
I was promised, Sworn even
That the pain I had endured
Pain in general, would stay
Within the past
I was promised authenticity,
Love, and relaxation
It was very safe to say
I fell in love
I was so head over heels
He's all I could think about
Dream about
He's all I wanted, all that I needed
Everything and anything that consisted
Within my tiny world
I often dreamed
Of kissing beneath the stars
playing in a babbling brook
And yet
Everything was shattered
Within a single moment
The lies then began to unravel
The web begins to crumble
Do you see me?Do you see me?
I fake a smile
No one notices
I fake a laugh
Everyones fooled
But inside
I'm dying
Drowning in my inner tears
Stabbing myself with words
Completely hateful words
I'm torturing myself
With Painful memories
Fooling myself
into unacheiveable dreams
Being happy
Is so far away now
Gone thousands
of miles away
Theres nothing left
But my own sadness
Hopelessness
Bitterness
Taunting laughter
echoing through my mind
Through my soul
Shaking me to my core
I do nothing but cry
Letting out my agony
My pain, My torture
In silent bitter weeps
My heart ripping in half
Over and over again
Going insane
By my own
The NeedlerHer mind is emptying
Due to the crack
In her skull
Anyone have some glue?

A switch has
Been pulled
She's losing
Her grip on reality

She's tattering
At the seams
But alas no needle
To fix it

Gravity is
The only thing
Keeping her body
Grounded

Or is it?
Her body sways
As  the remains
Of her soul

Leaves her body
The shell
Falls Face first
In the dirt
Life CheatsScrew life, I'm done with your games
With each hand of cards, it's always the same
I'm nothing, I'm useless, I can't get it right
I'm fat, I'm ugly and not very bright

I try to leave and escape this fate
it's hopeless, it's over, I remain in this state
You throw me a card, I know that you cheat
Yet I take it, unable to admit my defeat
Ironyevery one dies someday
and rides in a hearse
never thought I would get hit by one
first
The CallerDraw me a picture, Rose,
Draw a picture for me.
To prove you are real,
Not imaginary.

You called me again,
again, and once more.
Draw me a picture,
to prove who you are.

You say you are old,
much older than I,
I am not from the future;
why haven’t you died?

You talk of the war
that ended ages ago.
Why are you calling me?
Who are you, Rose?

On the wall in the pantry,
behind the wallpaper.
Go look for me, dearest
go look for the flower.

You didn’t believe me,
but now, you must.
Look for the flower,
covered in dust.

Am I scaring you, darling?
Am I scaring you yet?
I’ll make you believe,
I’ll make you, my pet.

Beh
drawing a roseI want to draw a rose,
I want to make it red.
I want to be an artist,
So I'll try this instead.
I'll take a shiny razor,
Dig deep in my skin.
I'll grab a brand new paintbrush
Dip it in the blood I bled.
Then I'll draw the rose,
On a blank sheet of paper.
As it dries, the rose will begin to brown.
Just like a rose wilting before its dead.
Hidden ScarsLook at her
What do you see?
Can you tell that she's hurt?
Can't you see that she bleeds?
If you only look at the lies
You'd say she's just bored
But look in her eyes:
Don't you see that there's more?
She goes day by day
And no one suspects the agony she hides
Don't believe her happy face;
On the inside she cries
She's  good at hiding her pain
And the cuts on her arms
She stands in the rain
When she can't fake 'fine' anymore
Now she can't breathe
The pain's too much to bare
She can't hold in the screams
And she's running out of air
Look at her;
What do you see?
Can you tell that she's hurt?
Can't you see tha
There's a placeThere's a place where even evil ones fear to tread
There are infant's bodies buried beneath damp earth
And full of pedophiles  shallow mass grave
So that the crows can take out their eyes
They are not dead yet, they shall suffer for years

Do you know that smell?
Yes, that's a one you can't mistake
Sweet and sour, drilling into your brain
It's a smell of decomposing corpses
One you will never forget

And the sight, dark and rotten,
A world that has decayed
There are bone trees with leafs of flesh
With petty little thieves sitting beneath them
Eyes bulging out, scared of that place

It's the graveyard of the murdered
Of deserved
Murder Can Be FunDon't worry,dear
I'll just cut off your head
It won't hurt too much
And then you'll be dead

Calm down,my love,don't be afraid
I'll just kill you now with this knife's wicked blade

What could be scary about that?

Your blood will trickle in thin streams
From you,a few slightly pained screams
Then silence will descend
The blood will start gushing
And for you,it's the end
Beckoning BladeDo you miss me
And my metallic bite?
Do you miss me
Numbing lonely nights?
Do you miss me
And the solace I give?
Do you miss me
Or a reason to live?
Browse More Like This

More from ~musicalangel659

StrangersI just can't explain it
I can't explain to you
The pain I'm feeling
The ache within my chest
The feeling that,
Something is missing
someONE is missing.
I can't explain
the rock in my throat
the tears within my eyes
when I sit all alone
in my bed at night
having time to think
time to remember
nothing to distract
from the ache
from the loss
I can't remember
how the pain got
so intense
it's almost unbearable
how the only thing
that clouds my thoughts
the only dream
that makes me remotely happy
Is suicide
I don't understand
How I became obsessed
with ways of hurting myself
With ways of making
my emotional scars
appe
UnspokenThere's so much
i want to express
i cannot think straight
so much pain,
so much anguish
I was promised, Sworn even
That the pain I had endured
Pain in general, would stay
Within the past
I was promised authenticity,
Love, and relaxation
It was very safe to say
I fell in love
I was so head over heels
He's all I could think about
Dream about
He's all I wanted, all that I needed
Everything and anything that consisted
Within my tiny world
I often dreamed
Of kissing beneath the stars
playing in a babbling brook
And yet
Everything was shattered
Within a single moment
The lies then began to unravel
The web begins to crumble

Featured in Groups

:iconwritting-universe: :iconwatching-life-go-on: :iconxxpoetsgetawayxx:
×

Suicide

:iconmusicalangel659:

When I watch a busy street
I dream of each car
Colliding with my body
Is that wrong?
When I Shower
I dream of the warm water
entering my mouth
Engulfing my lungs
Is that wrong?
When I take my medication
I dream of downing them all
Sending me into an everlasting sleep
Is that wrong?
When i'm walking across a bridge
I dream of jumping off the side
Although I can't swim
Is that wrong?
When I am cutting up vegtables
I dream of slicing my throat
From left to right
Is that wrong?
Suicide
I obsess over it
I'm infactuated by it
It detirmanes my every move
My every word
My every breath
And yet
I'm completely fine with that
Is that wrong?

155

11 14 7
:iconmusicalangel659:

Suicideby ~musicalangel659

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So yeah this is just a short little poem i came up with last night after having a EXTREMELY horrible night ^^; SO yeah Comment and favorite i guess
Comment if you want to lighten my mood (You can try)
So yea... More from last night comming soon i guess.
©2012-2013 ~musicalangel659
Category: Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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Submitted on
March 1, 2012
File Size
873 bytes
Views
155
Favourites
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:iconpop789:
~pop789 Jul 29, 2012
yes to When I am cutting up vegtables but only because you've thought about which way you would slice. good poem though.
Reply
:iconxxlunarxrainxx:
!XxLunarXRainxX May 11, 2012
Beautiful, thick as blood and deep as a wound. [._.] It seems to encase alot of many peoples emotions over time.... I enjoy this, but not the mood you had to be in to write it. I hope everything is okay and stays that way. :]
Reply
:iconmusicalangel659:
~musicalangel659 May 11, 2012  Student Writer
Things have been better...
Reply
:iconxxlunarxrainxx:
!XxLunarXRainxX May 11, 2012
I can understand that, it's unfortunate. I really do hope they get better though. . .
Reply
:iconmusicalangel659:
~musicalangel659 May 11, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks
Reply
:iconarmonsterz:
~Armonsterz Mar 21, 2012
don't die please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconmusicalangel659:
~musicalangel659 Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
O? why not? :p
Reply
:iconarmonsterz:
~Armonsterz Mar 21, 2012
your my friend i can't let you do that:iconsadplz:
Reply
:iconmusicalangel659:
~musicalangel659 Mar 21, 2012  Student Writer
Awe <3 well just for you i wont
Reply
:iconarmonsterz:
~Armonsterz Mar 21, 2012
thank u^^
Reply
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